The Prayer Frame of Mind
00:00 - Intro
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe from TORCH, the Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. This is the Prayer Podcast.
00:09 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back. Good morning everybody. It's so wonderful to be here.
We're resuming our Prayer Podcast series and last week we started going through some of the pieces of Talmud that talk about the frame of mind that one needs to have with prayer. We're going to see a lot about that today from various Talmudic sources that share with us the perspective, the frame of mind that one should have when coming to prayer. The Midrash says that Hakadosh Baruch Hu Mazhir Es Yisrael, the Almighty, warned the Jewish people bishosh ha'atem isbavim l'fna'a kodesh borkhu, when you pray before me, before the Almighty, lo ye'elochem be'z levavos One have two hearts A'khod lefna'a kodesh borkhu ve'achod le dvaram ahiram. One for the Almighty, where we talk directly to God, and one where we're busy with other things, meaning a person has to be very, very careful. I'm talking to God, I'm not busy with anything else. I'm not texting on my phone with my friends, I'm not reading the news, I'm not busy thinking about other thoughts. I'm fully present, fully present in my prayer. Now the Talmud continues. It says Ulu Avdo bechalavavchem. And to serve God with all of your hearts right. The Talmud.
01:36
The Midrash continues Ha'raze kivun tfilah. This is the focus that one needs to have in prayer, the kavana that one needs to have in prayer Shuloh yehi libo shul. Adam chaluk bishasat filah. That a person's heart should not be split with different things while praying. When one prays, it should be only prayer. I'm talking to God. Clear my mind, clear my schedule, clear all of my distractions and just be focused on one thing my conversation with God. The Midrash continues Zes similat filah. This is a sign for prayer. Im kivin odum libo lat filah yeh muftach, shat filah su nishmas. If a person had focus and intention in his prayer, he is guaranteed that his prayer will be heard and answered. Proper focus, without distraction. It's a promise, muftach. It's a promise that a person's prayer will be heard and accepted when they have clarity and focus, without any type of distraction. We know from the Talmud. The Talmud says ein om dimli ispal al elamitok kovid rush.
02:51
One should only pray with a seriousness of mind. What does that mean? A seriousness of mind? That means imagine if you're about to meet somebody that you're trying to persuade them to hire you. So what do you do? You make sure you dress yourself properly. You make sure you prepare all of your story, of your CV, your resume, and you make sure that you have all the details properly. You prepare about your history in the market, in the field that you're being asked about. You prepare Before you take the test, whatever test it is. You make sure you prepare, you review, you make sure you got your notes all clear. You try to do everything you can to be on your best behavior when we stand in front of the Almighty, what we need to do is recognize that we're standing in front of the Creator of heaven and earth and we need to be without any. We're all in, we're zoned in, we're focused, and that's what the Talmud says. You got to be with a seriousness of mind that we don't have anything, no hiccups. We're on our interview with God, creator of heaven and earth.
04:06
Ein Omdin Lehispaleil Lo Mitoch Atzvus. You're not allowed to pray when you're sad, velo metoch atzlus, and not when you're lazy. Oh, I really don't want to pray. I'm not in the mood, velo metoch sechok, and not out of too much laughter. Mockery, you're busy laughing from the show that you watched, the late night show and you're laughing and you got oh, I got to pray the evening service and you're busy laughing. You're thinking about the comedy show that you just saw Ve lo metoch schoch, not within in middle of conversation. Ve lo metoch kalosrosh, and not with lightheadedness. Ve lo metoch dvar metelim, and not with idle chatter. Oh, you're busy schmoozing with your friends. Oh, has work other things. Oh, let me pray now. I don't know.
04:50
You got to have el metoch simchah shel mitzvah. How do you pray With joy, with the joy of fulfilling a mitzvah? What is a mitzvah? We've talked about this many times. What is a mitzvah? A mitzvah is something that brings us closer to God. What is a sin? Something that distances us from God. God gives us an entire pathway in the Torah with 613 different tools of how to attain that closeness with God. Every mitzvah is a tool to get closer. Every sin, every prohibition is a mitzvah to keep us away from distancing ourselves.
05:35
What happens if someone eats something which isn't kosher? Does a lightning come from the heavens and just take them out? Poof, they're gone. No, but what do we do? We're creating a barrier between us and God by eating something that God says don't eat.
05:53
God says you're ruining the ingredients that keep us close. It's like you try to follow a recipe and the recipe calls for two tablespoons of sugar, you're like, no, I'm going to put two tablespoons of salt because I like salt. Is the recipe going to come out good? Most likely it's not, why I'm following the recipe. It's not going to be tasty, but I like salt. I know you like salt, but that's not how the recipe works.
06:28
God gives us the recipe for our relationship with Him. Sadness is not part of it. You're feeling down and depressed. That's not the time to talk to God like that. You have to come out of joy. How do we come out of joy if I'm not happy? Well, why aren't you happy? You're not happy because, likely, you're not grateful, you're not thankful for all the amazing things that Hashem gives you. Why are you sad? You're sad because you think it's me, it's me, me, me, me, me. And you see the shortcomings of that me. That makes you sad. Oh, I'm not this and I'm not. That Makes us upset. But if we realize that everything is from Hashem, what do we have to be upset about? Hashem, you're guiding me. It's not the way I see it. Let me chisel away at that arrogance, like we mentioned in our partial review. Chisel away at the arrogance of feeling it's all me Prayer. We come to God with prayer, with the clarity of understanding that everything is from Hashem, and then there's nothing to be upset about. We come with joy, we come with happiness, we come with a confidence Everything is the hands of Hashem. In Roa, Adam she hispalu v'lo na'ana, yahsov y'spalu.
07:45
The Talmud 32A, interacted Brachot says if you prayed and you see that your prayers weren't answered, you know what you have to do. Go back and pray again and again and again, and don't stop, because your prayers are always answered. You don't see or hear the response. Pray again. It's like your child. Your child is asking for a lollipop. You say no. What do they do? They just walk away and they say okay. You said no. No, that's not what they do. They say, oh, I want a lollipop. I said no, I want a lollipop, I want a lollipop. What do you do? You cry and you cry and you cry until they give you a lollipop.
08:30
We have to learn from children. We want a lollipop in our lives. We want that goodness. God says no, now is not the right time. So what do we do? You say okay. God said no, or I guess he just didn't hear me. No, he heard you. But if you really want something, you continue to pray and pray and pray relentlessly. So he says, okay, I have no choice, I got to give it to you.
08:56
A person has to be careful about that because you don't want God to give you something that's not good for you. You asked for that job, you asked to marry that person and perhaps it wasn't a good match for you. So you have to be careful Not to pray for something specific like that. Say Hashem, I want this job. Hashem, I want the best job for me. Hashem, I want the right person to marry, not this person. If this person is the right person, it should go quickly and smoothly. Give me the signs to be understanding and to see with clarity that this is the right thing for me. But not to pray Hashem, help me marry this person. The person has to be very careful about that.
09:41
Say just tell us that prayer without kavana, without focus and intention, is like a body without a soul. We know a body can't function without a soul. It's like think of a body and a soul. Could be like a remote control. Does a remote work without the batteries? You can have the remote and sit there all day and try to press the buttons. It's not going to work. If you don't have batteries inside, or nishama is the battery, our body is the remote. The same thing is with prayer. If we try to pray but there's nothing in it, there's no focus and intention, you can be, you're pressing around praying all day, but without the proper focus and intention it's not going to work. So our sages teach us Kolam marich bethviloso, ein tviloso chazeris reikam.
10:30
If someone extends in his prayer, praise not in a rush, not quickly. We're not rushing anywhere. Talk it out with God, expand your words of prayer, elaborate in your prayer, guaranteed your prayers will not come back empty, talmud says. I had to look up this, talmud. The Talmud says in Yomah 29a that the prayer of the righteous is like a young deer. It says kolzvan semigadeles, karneha mafcilos, that as long as its antlers are growing, they continue to split. It says sotu, the prayers of the righteous as long as they pray, their prayers continue to be heard.
11:27
The Talmud says an amazing thing that one of the great sages would pray for those who were sick and he knew from his prayers who would be healed and who would fall to their illness. The Talmud says that if the prayers came out smoothly he knew this person's prayers, the prayers for their healing was going to be accepted and they'd be healed. But if there was complications in his expression, he wasn't able to articulate it clearly then it would bring about the illness, would bring about to their death. They would fall to their illness. We see that there's a power to the prayers, particularly the prayers of the righteous, the prayers of the righteous, and we know that each one of us are called by the Mishnah, ve'ameh kulam tzadikim and the nation of Israel. They're all righteous.
12:26
I just read something so beautiful from one of the soldiers who fell yesterday in the tragic incident in Gaza. He wrote a message to his family that if he were to die or be taken in captive, he writes do not negotiate for my release under any circumstances. Don't release terrorists because of my captivity. It's an unbelievable imagine it's willing to give up his entire life and ultimately did for what? For the safety of his brothers and sisters in the land of Israel. May his memory and all the memory of all of our fallen soldiers be a blessing. It's unbelievable, the selflessness that people have, halavai, that any of us could be at such a high level, to be willing to give up our lives, al-qaeda shashem, to give up our lives for the sake of God, for the sake of our people, for the sake of our land. What holy people. Such a simple soldier, the holiest, the most cherished, the most precious from our young the Talmud now continues in Brachot 32b and says there are four things that need constant, constant refreshing.
14:06
Four things, and one of them is prayer, prayer. Prayer needs constant, constant, constant rejuvenation refreshing. You think, oh well, I listened to the prayer podcast. I listened to the prayer podcast and I learned about prayer and I learned about each of the prayers and now I'm good to go. No, we got to go back to it again and again and again. It's great for someone to participate, it's great for someone to learn to listen to the podcast, watch the videos, great, but that's not enough. It needs constant refreshing. That's the reality of prayer. Because we get used to it, we get into a road, we get into a habit. No, it's not enough that we learned it once. We got to learn it again and again and again. The Talmud here reminds us. It's one of the four things that needs constant refreshing.
15:08
Shloshedvarem, there are three things. That ha'maarichbohem, maarichhinyom vushnosavshalodem, that the more you elaborate, the more you extend them, the longer your years will be. God will extend your life. You extend in those areas, god will extend your life. One of them is ha'maarichbetvila. The more we extend our prayer, god says I will extend your life. And it's obvious because God loves our prayers, god loves our relationship, and when we show our commitment and our dedication to our relationship with God, god says I want more of that.
15:49
We say in the Shema we lo'ovdo b'cholovahavchem, to serve Hashem with all our hearts. V'chi ye shavodah b'leif. Is there a heart labor? What does it mean? And we should serve God. What do we serve God with our hearts? What does our heart do? Physically? Our heart is pumping. What are we doing with our heart? Say, just tell us it's prayer, prayer needs to come from the heart. It's the labor, it's the work, it's the toil of the heart.
16:24
The Talmud in Yurishami says in kivanta aslibchah betvila, if you focused your heart in prayer, tehe mivusah shinishmah art tfilascha, you should know you spoke with your heart. Just know your prayers are being heard. Your prayers are being heard Now. Every morning we have a special mishnah that we recite, mishnah in traktah t'abat. It says elu d'varm.
16:53
These are the precepts whose fruits a person enjoys in this world, but whose principle remains intact for him in the world to come. So imagine your investment. The principle will stay forever in the world to come. You've got it. The interest is your reward in this world. You're able to live off the interest in this world.
17:19
What are those things? They are the honor due to father and mother, acts of kindness, early attendance to the house of study, morning and evening hospitality to guests visiting the sick, providing for a bride escorting the dead, all of these mitsvahs. You get the reward in the world to come. But you get the added benefits, the interest you get in this world. And iyun tfilah, the absorption or the investment in prayer. You're looking deep into prayers, one of those things that you will. The reward for it will be in the world to come, an unbelievable reward. But you'll also have the benefits here as well. You'll have the interest. The added benefits will all be here in this world.
18:12
Then we talk about bringing peace between man and his fellow, between man and his wife, and the study of Torah is equivalent to them all. So the Talmud says here that, of these things, prayer, prayer is so powerful. What is prayer? I understand honoring parents, visiting the sick I understand all of that. What is the great power of prayer? That it's so special that when one prays, your reward is not only in this world, but your reward is also in the world to come. Because prayer means I'm recognizing every day who my Creator is, who's really in charge and what's going on here in this world. And when I invest in that, the reward will be so great in the world to come. But in this world, too, you'll have tremendous reward.
19:18
Imagine living a stress-free life no anxiety, no worry, no problems. You know why? Because I've got a very good friend who takes care of everything for me Everything. You know his name God. He's got it all covered. He's one of my needs, takes care of for me. I have nothing to worry about. I know that he will handle it. What an amazing life to live that we can all merit by investing in our prayer, and I commend each and every one of you whether it's those who are here live, those on Zoom, those who are listening on podcast or watching the video that we're taking the time and we're making the investment in learning our prayers. What are the words that we're actually going to say. This is such an amazing opportunity for us and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to work and hopefully prepare and spend all that time crystallizing these ideas of prayer so that it helps me and, hopefully, all of our listeners and participants, grow in this area of life.
20:36
This unbelievable power of prayer shouldn't be taken for granted. This power of prayer is the greatest weapon we have, because all prayers are heard, all prayers are answered. It's an amazing thing that the prayers of Abraham, isaac, jacob, our matriarchs, sarah, rebecca, rachel and Leah, are the prayers that protect us now. What they prayed thousands of years ago. Our ancestors, who prayed, prayed that their children should be successful and their grandchildren and the great great grandchildren and the great, great, great great grandchildren. We shouldn't be blind to the fact that our prayers will have an impact on our future generations. The prayers that we pray yes, pray for your children, pray for your grandchildren and your great grandchildren and your future, future, future generations. That power we have each and every one of us has that within ourselves the ability to pray for unbelievable things for our children and grandchildren. We're all a link in a chain. We're a link leading all the way back and we're part of that link for our future when we pray for them. The unbelievable powers.
22:06
I remember I was in camp in the former Soviet Union. I was a counselor and one of the great privileges that I had being there was having the privilege of teaching these young children how to read Hebrew, how to pray, how to put on Tefillin, how to prepare their own sitsis and to wear them. It was teach them blessings, teach them prayers. It was unbelievable. I remember one of the students we found out was a great, great, great great grandchild of one of the unbelievable Torah scholars of yesteryear. I remember with trepidation helping this young child, 13 years old, put on his Tefillin for the first time. I remember thinking to myself who knows what prayers, who knows what prayers of his great, great, great, great, great great grandmother? Is his merit that had him come to this Jewish camp having had zero exposure to Judaism, to now be reintroduced to Judaism? Who knows the power?
23:26
The Talmud says that one should be very careful. A teacher should be very careful. The mission in ethics of our fathers that tells us a person should be very careful about taking credit of their students' growth in Judaism. You think it's you? The mission says sheshush, avosam, desayosam, it's really their ancestors' prayers that's really helping them. You think it's you? Oh, I'm such a great lecturer, I'm such a great speaker, I'm such a power of influence. Look at all of my students. Look how far they've come. It's all my great teachings. No, no, no, no.
24:05
The mission says it's their ancestors' prayers, their ancestors' tears, that impacted their growth here. That's each and every one of us, the merits that we can bring about for our descendants, those that are living and those who are not yet alive, those who are not yet born. Fill up in their file in the heavens their prayers for them. Hashem, for all of my future descendants, guide them in the right way, protect them physically, protect them spiritually. This is our power, that we have in our prayers. This is the most important thing for us to learn, I believe, from all of these introductions, from the Talmud, whether it be the Babylonian Talmud, the Jerusalem Talmud, the Mishnah, the Midrash, guiding us on this one path, the power that we have to influence generations to come that we don't even know about yet.
25:11
Hashem should bless us all, that we should have the right intention, the right focus. We should have the clarity of understanding that everything is the hand of Hashem. We should have the clarity to understand that we are just mortal men. We come to this world for a limited amount of time. We check in at a certain date and we check out a certain date and that's it we have. Of that amount of time that we have. We have such incredible power to influence the heavens.
25:46
Each one of us, if we can take the time this week, spends a few minutes writing a list of the things you need to pray for For your own self, for your spouse, for your children, for your parents, for your grandchildren, for your neighbors, for your friends, for our soldiers, for the Jewish people, for the world. Write them out so that when we come to prayer, we can pull out our sheet and have clarity. Hashem, I know someone who needs healing. Hashem, I know someone who's looking for a job. Hashem, I know someone who's in a difficult marriage. Hashem, someone who's looking for marriage. I know someone who's dealing with a challenge in their personal life. They're struggling. They have quote demons in their life Challenges. We can pray and we can add merits to their lives. Hashem should help us all that we should be great conduits for the Jewish people to grow, to connect, to see with clarity the hand of Hashem every single day. Amen. Yes, sir, that's an excellent question.
27:07
How do we reconcile when it says that the gates of heaven are never closed for tears? How do we say that you can't pray out of sadness, when we hear tragic stories and we want to pray and we need to pray, and we're sad? So there's a difference between being sad and feeling the pain. We're crying out of pain. We're happy because we know that everything is the hand of Hashem. Pain is a very good thing. Pain is a very good, potent messenger. It's a prophecy and, yes, it can make us sad, but we need to understand that everything is the hand of Hashem. We don't know these people. These soldiers are the holiest of the holy. We have to recognize that. They're in such a great place right now. It's painful for us, it's painful for their families, but it's pain. There's a difference when someone is sad is that they're disconnected and we have to be more connected. When we see someone who's struggling, we should be in pain for their struggle.
28:29
Sadness means I'm too into myself to realize that Hashem is the big hand that handles everything that goes on. It's like it's out of my power or something so sad. Nothing's in our power. It's all the hand of Hashem. Hashem orchestrates everything and, yes, it pains us greatly and we cry to Hashem out of pain. Hashem, please stop inflicting this pain on us.
29:04
I can't tell you how many people I spoke to today that hearing this news of these 21 soldiers, it just tears your heart. And it's not only these 21 soldiers, it's the 221 that have been martyred since the beginning of this operation and the 300 that were before that that were killed on Sibrastora. It's tragedy, but Hashem wants to wake us up. We don't understand why. We don't understand what's going on, but that's what we need to do is cry to Hashem. And you're right. There is no prayer. It says the gates of tears are never closed. I tell my children, if they cry because they stubbed their toe, they cry because their sibling hit them. Say you know what a privilege you have. Obviously I try to console them, but what a privilege you have that you're crying because the gates of tears are open. Throw in a prayer. You have the opportunity when we're crying. The gates of heaven are wide open and let's utilize it. Let's feel that responsibility for one another. It's not their problem.
30:18
I once heard a rabbi say almost complete heresy. He was saying how the Jews of Israel have a problem, as if it's their problem, not our problem. And I went over to him after I said how dare you say such a thing? That it's the Jews of Israel, that it's their problem, it's our problem, this is us, this is not them. He said well, we're not carrying the guns, so this is so stupid. It's our problem. These are our brothers and sisters, these are our children. And to feel that this is their problem, we're just going to, we'll help them in prayer? No, this is our problem. These are our sons and daughters.
31:04
Shem should help us all. Our prayers should be accepted and we should pour out our hearts. Every single synagogue around the world is adding extra Psalms, extra prayers for our brothers and sisters. We should do it in our own personal prayer. Shem, help your people, help your soldiers, help us all. Protect us all the three people just attacked yesterday in London Jews for being Jewish. We think that we're safe because we're in Houston, texas, and everyone carries a gun. We need Hashem's protection and we ask Hashem every day. We need to ask Hashem. Hashem, protect us, protect all of our brothers and sisters. We need Hashem's help. Thank you, great question.
32:00
So it's a good question of whether or not, when you pray and you're feeling that your own prayers are being selfish, but praying for others is more powerful, that's a great thing. If someone is able to feel at such a high level the pain of another person, that's really incredible and that's what we hope to reach that level of sensitivity that we feel the pain. Imagine the pain of a mother who receives that message that her child was just killed on the battlefield. That pain, imagine if we're that parent and start crying and feel that pain, that prayer. You know how powerful that prayer is To get out of our own selves, our own selfish lives, and to feel what someone else is experiencing. There's nothing more powerful than that. God loves that more than anything else. And then you could say you know what, after God, I'm praying for all the soldiers. Please throw me a bone, help me too. But the truth is we need to pray not only for the soldiers but for their families, for their brothers and their sisters and their children and their parents and the Jewish nation.
33:07
We are blind. You know there's great solutions to the whole Gaza problem. Why don't our elected leaders in Israel see that we all know. If I went around the table here and asked our friends online what they thought is a solution for Gaza, I guarantee you we'll have a solution in five minutes. What the people in the Knesset don't see it. They don't get it. The defense minister doesn't understand. You think the head of the military doesn't understand? No, hashem is controlling us and Hashem is not giving them the clarity to understand what needs to be done. So they're playing cat and mouse with the terrorists.
33:53
We are so careful I'm getting onto a little political rant here but we're so careful not to kill a civilian. Who's a civilian there? Not one. Every single one voted for Hamas. Every single one is a member of Hamas. Oh, they're innocent people. What innocent people? Who's innocent there? I'm sorry, it's unfathomable. And you know what? The UN should burn, burn down to ashes. Who needs the UN? There are a bunch of terrorists too. In middle of a war. They're condemning Israel. Tell me one nation on earth that is as civil, that is as ethical as the IDF. I hope the UN gets erased from the face of this earth. And all the nations, by the way, that are going up against Israel. This is their chance, I'm telling you.
34:57
The Talmud says I want to learn this. Talmud thinking. Talmud is this week. The Talmud says that the nations of the world are going to come. When the Messiah comes. They're going to say oh, we want our reward for all the great things we did for the Jewish people. Messiah is going to say well, what did you do for the Jewish people? And there was a war in Gaza? What did you say? You condemned Israel. You weren't for Israel. This is the chance for the nations of the world. They're going to pay a price for it.
35:28
I have no mercy. You're not allowed to have mercy on those who are cruel, and that's cruelty. When you don't see evil, that's cruel. The Talmud says that if you are merciful to the cruel, you'll end up being cruel to the merciful, and what we're seeing in this world is just a world upside down.
35:56
I have a perfect solution, by the way, and the solution is 24 hours, and we declare it, and I don't care what the world says, I don't care what the United States says. If I was prime minister, this would be my ultimatum. See, I have 24 hours to release every single one of our hostages, and if they're not, the place is gone. Try us and you know what will happen. I believe every single one of those hostages will be sitting and waiting at the entrance to Israel, because if they know that we're serious, they listen to that. The Muslims don't understand nice. They only understand force. Hashem should protect us all. What do we know? It's a crazy world. It's a crazy world we're living in. All right, my dear friends, have a magnificent day. Go pray. We all need prayers. The Jewish people need prayers.
